My sizzling-hot take is that you jabronis don’t celebrate nearly enough holidays. And while some of that is for good reason, like you’ve never heard of it or you’re worried it may be culturally insensitive, that’s not reason enough for me. Long-time readers know that Happy Hagfish is mostly a media blog, but I also have a not-insignificant portion of my blog dedicated to the ordinary magic of holidays.
Over the past three years, I’ve written a lot about the holidays, especially Christmas, because that ish is my jam. If I could get a Ph.D. in whatever the hell I wanted without having to worry about “bettering the world” or “getting a job,” my ass would get a Ph.D. in modern Christmas traditions (and how Christianity took over the celebration of Saturnalia and why hundreds of years later that means in one country the nativity set includes a figurine of a man pooping next to baby Jesus).
Some of you may have missed my incredible holiday content, and my heart weeps for you. But as I’ve now seen this particular blog prompt, I’m going to use it to show you wonderful peons about all of the holidays you could be celebrating if you were a regular Happy Hagfish reader.
Year-Round Holidays:
In 2025 I’m going to update this exact list with more relevant dates and republish it, because that’s what lazy writers do. But I’m also happy to share this post again because there are fascinating holidays on it that occur throughout the year. For instance, as I write this in mid-September 2024, I can see that on the 19th, we’ll have International Talk Like a Pirate Day and then the Autumnal Equinox (or Mabon) on the 22nd!
Fall Holidays:
As we’re fast approaching fall, please enjoy this list of fall-appropriate blog posts:
This list includes a few very obvious suggestions (like “The Nightmare Before Christmas,” which everyone has seen) as well as a few lesser-known films that deserve a spot on your Halloween movie night.
Films like “Coco” give holidays like Dia de los Muertos a public platform, and that’s wonderful, but I hope this year, in addition to watching that movie, you take your celebration and appreciation a step further. With a little research, you may learn about a Day of the Dead celebration happening close by. It’s a really beautiful holiday that can give you time and space to honor your loved ones who’ve passed on.
Remember last year when I was grieving and listened to Marissa Nadler’s song “Daisy, Where Did You Go?” over 400 times?
This Thanksgiving movie has Jim Henson Creatures and Ludacris in it. It’s not good but you will be entertained.
Selfishly I want this movie to blow up so that Binging with Babish will recreate the foods made in it.
Winter Holidays:
I’ve written a ton of blog posts about Christmas, and I never intend on stopping, so enjoy:
This was one of my first-ever blog posts. I originally put it together for a newsletter sponsored by the Disability Business Resource Group at my old company. I was really happy with this list when I first put it out, but I think it could use some updating. If you have any good movies that you think would fit the list, let me know! My hope is one day disability representation becomes so common place in film that these kinds of lists are no longer necessary.
This list was my excuse to get people to watch “Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale,” a vastly-underrated Finnish horror film about the original Santa Claus.
Why watch a movie when you can watch a whole TV show? Anyway, I’m still bummed “Dash & Lily” was canceled.
Is there anything nicer during the cold winter months than curling up with a warm drink and a good book?
In 2021 FOX News released a collection of Christmas stories titled “All-American Christmas.” Given FOX News’ penchant for spreading misinformation and riling up their audience with racist fear tactics, I don’t respect them. Even worse, I don’t like how FOX claimed the title “All-American,” as if the conservative media has a claim to America, Patriotism, and Christmas. It makes me want to release a diverse collection of Christmas stories called “Even-More American Christmas,” featuring people from across the political spectrum who love their country and the people who inhabit it (even the people that are different from them).
Once upon a time, Christmas lasted 12 days, beginning on December 25th and continuing until January 5th, or Twelfth Night. The United States should bring that back into practice, especially if it means I’ll get a longer reprieve from depressing Weight Watchers commercials.
What’s a holiday without a little music? And if you think this list was a flimsy excuse to get me to talk about “Joel, the Lump of Coal,” then you would be correct.
Not to brag, but since writing this list, I’ve watched two of these movies. Only 8 to go! (If you’ve seen any of them, please let me know which ones and what you thought!)
The title says it all. “Arthur Christmas” was originally in my list of must-watch Christmas movies, but I liked it so much I thought it deserved it’s own post.
Do you know how many bad specials I had to watch to put this list together? No small amount of research goes into a Happy Hagfish blog list. Please don’t let my hard work be in vain.
There are so many suggestions in this list. You’re bound to like one of them.
Last year, I had a massive depressive episode during the “12 Days of Christmas,” so I wrote this blog post to cheer myself up. It kind of worked, but reading your thoughts and comments would make me even happier.
Queen Latifah sparkles in this movie about a woman who mistakenly thinks she has only a few weeks left to live. I also recommend watching this movie if you’re ever in Karlovy Vary.
And a rare, non-Christmas holiday blog:
As a Bay Area native, I grew up with Lunar New Year celebrations. While I personally don’t come from a culture that celebrates the Lunar New Year, it’s still an important holiday for many American citizens. It’s somewhat easier to find a celebration if you live in a major city, but if you’re living in a rural area, it can be more challenging. And for some people, it can be isolating. So when the next Lunar New Year rolls around, keep your ears open in case you know someone who is celebrating.
Spring and Summer Holidays:
I have nothing.
I poured over three years of blog posts and it turns out I haven’t written anything about any holidays between March to September that wasn’t already in my year-round holiday blog post. This means I’ve neglected six months of holidays, even though there have to be at least a few good days in there.
So once you’re done pouring through that long list of Christmas-themed blog posts, leave your suggestions for your favorite March through September holiday. And stay tuned for my inevitable blog post about why “People Are Sleeping on May Day.”
Happy Hagfish 
I am a basic white b because I do indeed love the “-ber” months more than any other time of year and it’s definitely because of the holidays, pumpkin spice, and fashion 🙂
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The “-ber” months just have so much more pizazz and personality! It’s not September through November’s fault that pumpkin spice was a gift to humanity
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If I can make a suggestion, I want at least two days of birthday celebrations. One that is the big party etc etc but then one smaller one with just close friends and family. The one with close friends and family then could be the present day so more casual acquaintances who may have a touch of the ‘tism don’t have to agonize over whether they’re supposed to bring a present to your party or whether it’s weird.
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I actually only know what jabroni is from a Kendrick Lamar song
I also realized I cannot pronounce “autumnal”
Have you seen Miracle in Lane 2? I watched it when it came out on the Disney Channel and I was 8 at the time. It was the first time I heard of another kid with a shunt before. Unfortunately, the boy this story was about died last Fall in a car accident.
I know you wrote this in a blog before but Persian New Year marks the start of Spring!
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