10 Christmas Movies I Intend to Watch Before Christmas (But Won’t Because I Have the Attention Span of a Gnat)

Friends, sometimes I think I like talking about movies more than I like watching movies. And sadly, Christmas is no exception to this weird rule. Even though I have a list of must-watch Christmas movies and specials (as well as several other lists), I must admit that there are too many Christmas movies I haven’t seen! Not just the Hallmark ones, because as Hallmark craps out Christmas movies like a Queen Bee craps out eggs, it would be impossible for me to watch them all unless I quit my job and lived in a bunker for at least a year. But I’m also talking about the many classics and weird delights I haven’t yet had a chance to watch. I love Krampus, and yet I haven’t seen “Krampusor “A Christmas Horror Story,” so what kind of fan am I?

So to try and rectify my error, I sat down and pumped out this list of Christmas movies I desperately want to watch. Whether or not I actually watch them is a whole other issue, but at least my intentions are pure!

One: Scrooged (1988)

I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t watched this all the way through, even though “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens is one of my all-time favorite books. Maybe this is the year I fix my mistake! Unless I get distracted by “A Muppets Christmas Carol” for the 30th year in a row.

Two: One Magic Christmas (1985)

Is this movie good? I have no idea. But it’s about an angel helping someone get into the Christmas spirit, and that sounds so outrageously corny that I want to be there for the ride.

Three: Christmas in Connecticut (1945)

I do not like “White Christmas” at all. I think the musical numbers make little to no sense, and the plot is super contrived. The cute movie poster sucks you in, and then two hours of your life have been wasted listening to people other than Bing Crosby sing. So that means I need to find a new classic to replace it in my mind, and for the moment, I’m betting on the 1945 “Christmas in Connecticut.”

Four: The Lion in Winter (1968)

Young Anthony Hopkins? I literally cannot imagine it. I just assumed he entered this world fully formed, like Athena from the head of Zeus.

Five: A Christmas Tale (2008)

This movie’s description looks and sounds like a French bummer, but so is Christmas sometimes, so I’m game. Let’s bring on the sexy French depression!

Six: A Christmas Horror Story (2015)

I love Krampus but I have mixed feelings about Krampus with hunky washboard abs

This movie includes two things I love more than words can describe: Anthologies and Krampus. And Canadians, so I would say that’s three things.

Seven: The Bishop’s Wife (1947)

I first heard about this movie in an awful Debbie Macomber book, and I have been intrigued ever since. Also, I don’t know what a bishop does outside of being a big deal in chess, so maybe this movie will shed some light on that.

Eight: Babes in Toyland (1961)

I’m honestly not sure what this movie is about aside from it involving toys. Maybe they come to life or something like that dope Jim Henson Christmas movie? As a kid, I remember watching the 1986 version of “Babes in Toyland” with Drew Barrymore and Keanu Reeves, but now I think it’s time to embrace the classic version. I wonder if this version will also have that insanely catchy “Cinncinatti” song.

PSA: Do not drive like a dumb ass in a snowstorm

Nine: Crown for Christmas (2015)

I want to lie and say I have a weak spot for Hallmark movies, but the truth is I like them the way an entomologist likes the butterfly needled to their spreading board. I want to study them and to properly study them, I need to watch more of them. This movie looks like solid, romantic Hallmark trash. I think it also helps that the male lead in this movie was also Captain Wentworth in the 2007 version of “Persuasion.”

On an unrelated note, I also think the leading actress, Danica McKellar, is a neat lady for writing so many books about the sheer awesomeness of math.

This Christmas, give someone you hate the gift of math

Ten: Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square (2020)

Why yes, I am just another person who mindlessly worships Dolly Parton. Though, in my defense, she is lovely. I feel like every year she continues to delight me, like when she guest-starred in an episode of “The Orville” earlier this year (and if you haven’t watched “The Orville” yet, then please see this list of reasons to do so). And it’s not just Dolly Parton, but a whole cast of actors who I either like or vaguely recognize from something else. How am I supposed to resist something like that???

So friends, which of these movies have you watched? And what other movies should I add to my list?


One thought on “10 Christmas Movies I Intend to Watch Before Christmas (But Won’t Because I Have the Attention Span of a Gnat)

    – Anthony Hopkins was young once? I thought he always looked like the dad in the Mask of Zorro or Thor’s dad


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s