I love the Disney Channel Original Movie franchise “Z-O-M-B-I-E-S.” I wish I didn’t, because these movies are designed for children and make very little sense, but since when has love ever made sense? I wrote about the first two movies and predicted that the third movie would be a trash fire. Then when I watched the third movie, it made me feel like my brain was lighting up like a spinning disco ball, and I took back every cruel thing I’d ever said about the series.

The story is simple: a zombie, Zed, and a cheerleader, Addison, fall in love and work together to end oppression. Or, actually, now that I think about it, the storyline is wildly complicated and involves futuristic technology, magic crystals, and beings from other worlds. With each addition to the Z-O-M-B-I-E-S franchise, I only have more questions. And I’m not the only one – writers for the New York Times have found themselves both perplexed and obsessed with this odd series, and for good reason. So I figured, why not write down all the questions I’ve had since I first started watching these movies.

Z-O-M-B-I-E-S (2018)

1. Do other towns have zombies? Or is this just specific to Seabrook?
2. What do calm zombies eat? Are they mostly vegetarian, like with all of the cauliflower they eat?
3. Do zombies eat every part of the human, and brains are their favorite?
4. Do zombies want to eat animals the same way they want to eat humans? Are the brains of other animals just as good?
5. Do zombies accidentally eat people? How do they feel after?
6. What happens if a zombie eats a person? What if a zombie attacks a person and has just a little nibble? Is the punishment the same for all zombie attacks?
7. When was the last zombie attack in Seabrook?
8. When did the zombies develop their own language, and for what purpose?
9. Why does Bonzo exclusively speak the Zombie language as opposed to English? (No shade to Bonzo, but I think it would be nice if the series answered this)
10. How do you kill a zombie?
11. Why do zombies have to wear jumpsuits? Is it to help identify them? (As if the green hair wasn’t a dead giveaway)
12. What does the Z-Band do exactly? Aside from making the zombies not want to eat people and be less strong, what else?
13. Who controls the Z-Band? Does one giant computer control all of them?
14. Does the company that manufactures Z-Bands also make other stuff? Does the Z-Band company only cater to zombies?
15. Is the owner of the Z-Band company a rich person? Are they nice? Is their company ethical?
16. How can a Z-Band be hacked?
17. When does a zombie have to start wearing a Z-Band?
18. What is Zombie Containment? Is it like a jail or more like a hospital?
19. What is the purpose of Zombie Containment? Is it the only option for misbehaving zombies?
20. What are Seabrook’s procedures if there is another zombie outbreak?
21. Where do the zombies get their stuff?
22. What does a zombie apartment look like?
23. Where do zombabies come from?
24. Can a human and a zombie have a baby?
25. What was zombie school like before integration?
26. Do people hook up in the Zombie Safe Rooms? (If they don’t, I would be SHOCKED)
27. Why does it hurt to turn off the Z-Band?
28. If hacking a Z-Band can turn zombies human, is there a reason the Z-Band company doesn’t do that?
29. Will the Z-Band company develop a new update that completely eliminates zombie power powers and traits from the afflicted?
30. Will there ever be a “cure” for being a zombie, and how would this affect the main characters?

Z-O-M-B-I-E-S 2 (2020)

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1. Were the structural inequalities in Zombietown ever addressed?
2. Do zombies still have a curfew?
3. Do the werewolves know how to read? Do they have any of the same skills that a typical third grader might have, like the ability to write in cursive and do times tables?
4. What is the werewolf education system like, and is it comparable to Seabrook high school?
5. Do the werewolves lose control during a full moon?
6. Do any werewolves not want to be werewolves? Like, is there one that wants to grow up to be an accountant, wear pastels, and live in one of the cute Seabrook houses?
7. Where are the adult werewolves?
8. Why is Willa referred to as the “alpha” of the werewolf packs, when wolves do not adhere to an alpha-based leadership system? 
9. Who is the Great Alpha? Did we ever find out, or is the Great Alpha still out there somewhere?
10. Do the werewolves smell each other? Do the werewolves ever mark their territory with scent?
11. Do the werewolves like to play with squeaky toys? I feel like they would.
12. What do werewolves eat? Aside from peanut butter and bones? (Side note – could you imagine Binging with Babish making that ice cream flavor?)
13. Why was Coach more afraid of werewolves than of zombies? Objectively, a zombie presents a greater threat of harm than a werewolf.
14. What is the history of the werewolves before the settlers arrived in Seabrook? (I’d honestly really like to know about that)
15. Where did the moonstone come from?
16. Why does the moonstone interfere with zombie technology? What is the Z-Band made of, and why does it interfere with other tech? Does the company know about this?
17. Do the other zombies like Zed, or do they think he tries too hard to be human?
18. Can zombies go to college? ANSWERED IN Z3: No, they cannot until Zed is accepted.
19. What do Bree’s parents think about her dating a zombie?
20. Are Bonzo and Eliza step-siblings? (I hope they are because I think that’s nice)
21. Do Bucky and Addison ever just hang out?
22. What other mythical creatures live in Seabrook? ANSWERED IN “Addison’s Moonstone Mystery” and Z3: Vampires and Mermaids

Z-O-M-B-I-E-S 3 (2022)

1. How old is Bucky? I thought he was older than Addison, but he’s graduating the same year as her. Did he need an additional year to finish high school, or has he been attending community college and visits the high school for attention like other weird seniors?
2. Where is Mountain College? Is it the only college in the area?
3. Are the blue aliens the only alien species within the galaxy?
4. What is the story of the blue aliens? When did they become a space-faring species? How advanced is their civilization?
5. How do the aliens select mates? Is the alien culture more socially progressive than ours?
6. Aside from the mothership, where are all of the alien adults?
7. When did the aliens decide to leave their planet? How was that decision reached, and who decided to go? Do any of the aliens from their planet go to different worlds?
8. Zed’s grades were not great, so why was he ranked third in his class? He had maybe a 3.0 – was there really only two people in his class with better grades? Is Seabrook a terrible school focusing more on cheerleading and extracurriculars than education?
9. If a werewolf hurts an alien, does law enforcement get involved? Or is Seabrook police more like, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”
10. What do Zed and Addison want to major in? (I see Addison going into politics, then maybe law school because she’s such a natural leader)
11. What would Addison and Zed do if he couldn’t get into Mountain College? Would they long-distance it? (I feel like they would be fine, but that kind of distance is challenging)
12. Does Bonzo want to go to college? What are his dreams? (Spin-off idea: Bonzo’s experiences as the first zombie to attend a Fine Arts School)
13. It’s nice that the werewolves support Zed, but do they want to go to college or have their own system in place?
14. What other zombie food delicacies exist?
15. Why can’t non-aliens survive space travel?
16. How will Seabrook society change to accommodate so many different cultures, which likely include different economic systems and levels of technological advancement?
17. Is there ever a situation where an alien won’t use their advanced technology to help someone else?
18. Are Wyatt and Eliza really endgame, or will that change in college? 
19. Is Bucky an alien or what? Like, what’s his deal.
20. When do A-Spen and Willa get together? I can’t wait for a whole movie just for “I like you” and “I like you, too!” I’m not saying the characters need to go at it, but…
21. Will the Disney overlords let Willa and A-Spen kiss?
22. What is the deal with the vampires? Do they need blood to survive because that could become a serious problem.
23. When do the mermaids show up, and are they nice, or do they lure sailors to their deaths?
24. Does Seabrook have witches? I think it should have witches. (That was my original hope for Addison’s origins)

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To anyone who reads this list: Can you please help me out? And if you haven’t watched this series already, then consider this your sign to get on it. I need a Z-O-M-B-I-E-S 4!