ROBOTS

To clarify: years ago, back when Facebook quizzes were all the rage, one of my good friends was filling out a questionnaire about yours truly. Was this possibly a data-mining scam? Maybe. But it did give me some insight into how I was perceived by my loved ones, which can be both terrifying and illuminating.

Anyway, when asked what kind of music I liked, my friend replied something to the extent of “Robots” because everything I listened to sounded ultra-produced and artificial because that kind of music lit up the pleasure center in my brain in a way that cocaine could only dream of achieving. So, in honor of that answer, I give you this playlist of robot-inspired music featuring actual robots (and totally not just people dressed like robots) to put a little boogey into your step.

Flight of the Conchords – “Robots“

It is the far-future, the year 2000, and robots have killed all of the humans. Skynet’s dream is now a reality. Jermaine Clement and Brett McKenzie bravely warned us of this horrifying future in their 2007 HBO show “The Flight of the Conchords.”

Styx – “Mr. Roboto“

I have no idea what this song is about. I looked it up and I still don’t know what it’s about. Enjoy?

ALL CAPS – “Don’t Unplug Me“

Does this song sound achingly nostalgic and whimsical in a way that early 2000s fan culture could only achieve? Because that’s exactly what it is. Kristina Horner, a member of ALL CAPS, has since gotten married, had a child, and is working at a “real” job, which feels appropriate for someone who was releasing Harry Potter-themed music in 2010, while Luke Conard is presumably doing something similar, having not released any music since 2019. Writing about all of this made me feel extremely old, but at least this song is still is a bop.

Tom Cardy – “Artificial Intelligence“

In Tom Cardy’s haunting melody, a sweet robot yearns to feel the full range of human emotion but has tragically encountered a seemingly insurmountable roadblock. This song is usually passed over in favor of Cardy’s other banger, “Mixed Messages,” but it deserves a listen for its beautiful message about the complicated nature of humanity.

Jonathan Coulton – Chiron Beta Prime

I’m almost hesitant to call this a “robot” song since it’s a sci-fi Christmas jam, but music can serve multiple purposes. I might even create a future list of science-fiction Christmas songs because that sounds fun. Robots feature prominently in this tale about the Anderson family, who have been banished to the mining colony on Chiron Beta Prime but will not let a little thing like the singularity and enslavement by robots dampen their holiday spirit.

Jonathan Coulton has also earned his spot on this list for two other robot songs, “Still Alive,” and “Want You Gone” from the Portal Games. Happy Hagfish will never become a video game blog, but if I hear about a good robot song, then I’m going to give it a listen. These tunes sung by GLaDOS, the evil robot-thing from those games, have earned their place on this blog.

And, finally, the most romantic video of all time, “All Is Full of Love” by the Icelandic Singer, Bjork.

This song is also on my list of “Ten Science Fiction Movies to Make You Believe in Love,” or whatever I decided to call it, and I stand by my opinion that this story of two robots finding love and warmth in their cold, sterile world, is a romantic tale that makes “The Notebook” look like “Saw V.”

So despite my adoration for robot-themed music, I seem to have come up short on my list. So if there are any robot songs I need to add to my repertoire, kindly let me know.