I bet half of the unanswered wishes from “Wish” were some variation of “I wish I could get absolutely railed by King Magnifico.”

Another third of those wishes are stupid things like, “I wish my fish could talk” or “I wish everything I touched turned to gold.” The rest of those wishes are harmless enough to be granted.

“Wish” was meant to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the Disney Company, and it debuted to no applause. It was primarily written by Jennifer Lee, of “Frozen” fame. It is a movie so spectacularly mediocre that it borders on inspirational. In fact, I think there should be a “Wish” sequel, and if anyone at Disney is reading this blog now, I happily give you my ideas. But first, let me set the scene for people who haven’t watched it on Disney+, because I know you did not pay to watch it in theatres.

“Wish” is about a young woman, Asha, who lives in a magical city called Rosas, ruled by a benevolent dictator, King Magnifico, a powerful sorcerer who grants the people’s wishes. Asha interviews to be the King’s apprentice but learns the terrible truth: King Magnifico doesn’t grant every wish. When a person makes a wish, it becomes a tangible thing collected and hoarded by the King, and they forget their wish until it has been granted. If your wish is never granted, you would never know what you wished for.

Asha is bummed that the King isn’t who she thought he was, and so she wishes super hard on a star, which comes down from the sky and causes delightful mischief. King Magnifico, feeling annoyed and taken advantage of by the ungrateful citizens of Rosas, becomes suspicious of this mischief and becomes possessed by a magical evil book. Asha and her friends (based on the seven dwarfs, which I honestly did not pick up on until I read the “Wish” wikipedia page), decide to start a revolution, which is joined by the King’s (ex) wife, Queen Amaya. 

Evil King Magnifico almost succeeds in claiming the star’s power for himself and subjugating all of Rosas, but the combined power of all of the people wishing overpowers him, and he finds himself trapped by the very dark magic meant to empower him. Queen Amaya becomes the sole ruler of Rosas, and Asha is given a magic wand so she can grant all of the wishes she wants.

In addition to this storyline, the movie is peppered with Disney easter eggs, like a talking deer named Bambi, and outfits reminiscent of classic Disney characters. Easily 40% of the movie’s content is just throwbacks and references to other Disney movies.

If there is one thing Disney loves to do, it’s fellate itself to its past brilliance rather than risk making something new and interesting that could potentially alienate incurious but well-paying audiences. It’s really frustrating, because the Disney company is capable of such incredible creative work, and yet for the last twenty years, it has rested on its laurels, producing little more than fanfiction of its previous work. 

The first animated movie the Disney company ever made, “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” was a massive risk that could have potentially bankrupted Disney. History shows us that it was the beginning of an era and a reminder that creative risks that can pay off.

The released concept art for “Wish” shows that this movie could have been something unique and new, but at almost every turn little changes were made to increase the marketability of this movie for the lowest common denominator. Two significant changes were to the main characters: Star was originally supposed to be a cute “Star Boy” and romantic interest for Asha, while Queen Amaya was to be as evil as her husband. 

Despite Ariana DeBose‘s beautiful vocals, Asha is really bland. Most of her motivation for this movie is her belief that her grandfather, Sabino, deserves to either have his wish granted or the knowledge of that wish returned to him. By the movie’s conclusion, she is given the power to grant any person’s wish, which sounds like a gift until you realize it puts her in the same position of power as King Magnifico at the start of the movie.

And despite the narrative this movie tries to weave, King Magnifico is actually good at his job. In the opening number, “Welcome to Rosas,” we see a magical, thriving city where the citizens are happy and well cared for. Rosas is a post-racial utopia in which people from all over the world can live in harmony. Asha’s grandfather was able to live to a hundred years old, her family lives comfortably, and she is part of a loving community. The only sign we see that something might be wrong is Asha’s friend, Simon, who’s been acting a little differently (“sleepier,” as he’s based on the dwarf, “Sleepy”) since he made his wish.

In the song “At All Costs,” King Magnifico and Asha sing to the wish bubbles, and King Magnifico expresses his intentions to keep the wishes of Rosas’ people safe for all time. I’m sure we’re meant to interpret his singing this song as a sign that he just wants to hoard and control the wishes, but the movie has also shown us that he grants plenty of wishes.

Asha and Magnifico have their falling out when he refuses to grant her grandfather’s wish on the grounds that it is “too vague.” Which is pretty solid reasoning as far as wish-granting goes.

I remember reading Gail Carson Levine‘s “Ella Enchanted,” in which a young girl, Ella, is given the “gift” of obediance. The book examines how Ella’s “gift” impacts her life, while also making a few interesting comments on the nature of magic. The book has two fairies: Lucinda, who wields her magic irresponsibly, and Mandy, Ella’s fairy godmother, who refuses to use any magic that is not “small and safe,” lest there be unintended consequences. 

As a child, as annoying as it was that Mandy never just “fixed” Ella by casting another spell, I thought it was a sophisticated way to explain the truth of the world to young readers. That nothing can be solved with a magical hand waving and in life, you have to be the one to break your own curses.  

In “Wish,” King Magnifico refuses to grant certain wishes for the kingdom’s safety and also refuses to give those un-grantable wishes back to the people who made them. This is the first indication that Magnifico isn’t the guy Asha thought he was, but his actions aren’t completely without reason. In his many years of granting wishes, it’s entirely possible that he accidentally granted a wish that went sideways or indulged in someone’s request to grant a wish he now regrets. Either way, he now has a system that is clearly working: “grant precise wishes that are either harmless or useful.”

His system has kept the kingdom running successfully, so it’s not like he’s wrong for being such a control freak. 

By the time he sings his unimpressive villain song, “This Is the Thanks I Get?!” I was half in agreement with him. It helps that Chris Pine, who voiced King Magnifico, put his whole Pinussy into that performance despite the underwhelming material. 

The other thing that makes Magnifico’s descent into villainy less believable is his relationship with Queen Amaya. Although not a lot of time is spent on them as a couple, from what we can see, the two have a respectful, loving relationship. His animated eyes soften whenever she enters the room and she’s sweet and physically affectionate to him. Then he gets possessed by the evil book and she’s like “peace bitch I’m joining the revolution against you.” 

In movie time, it takes her maybe a day to drop her loving husband of like 20+ years and conspire against him. The movie portrays her as a selfless, wonderful queen everyone adores, so clearly I’m supposed to be like, “Good for you, girlboss! Drop that worthless man!” 

But that doesn’t make any sense. And my stupid heart, the same heart that once worshipped the doomed relationship between Padme Amidala and Anakin Skywalker, can’t help but feel dissatisfied with this turn of events. 

Disney narratives love the notion of “True Love’s Kiss,” and that could have easily been used to redeem Magnifico. That didn’t happen. Instead, Amaya initiates divorce-by-being-trapped-in-evil-mirror and seems strangely content with her decision. 

I have notice that Disney, when unsure what to do with a character romantically, will chose the easiest path of “no relationship.” It’s what they did with Elsa in “Frozen 2,” and even though I’m not chomping at the bit to see Elsa in a romantic relationship, it was clearly a cop-out. It’s easier to avoid romantic narratives than to inadvertently offend certain small-but-paying audiences with the “wrong” one.

It would have been much more interesting if “Wish” had tried to redeem King Magnifico’s character. And the story is right there. Audiences love when villainous characters get redemption arcs, and King Magnifico was barely a villain. He was just a control freak who thought a little too highly of himself, and even though we’re supposed to dislike him, he managed to successfully run a kingdom and pull Queen Amaya. That doesn’t exactly put him in the same league as Cruella “I-want-to-kill-puppies-and-make-a-fur-coat” de Vil or Judge Claude “Let’s-exterminate-an-entire-ethnicity-except-the-one-I-want-to-sexually-abuse” Frollo.

After “Wish” flopped at the box office, I’m sure Disney executives want to forget the movie ever existed. Except there’s still a chance it may perform well on Disney+. And people might be willing to buy “Wish” merchandise, given the cutely chubby “Star” character. Some of the songs are even good and make sense, and the ones that don’t make sense, like “I’m A Star,” are still listenable. 

That may generate enough interest to lead to more “Wish” content, and if so, I think it’s possible to make a good “Wish” sequel. One that’s so good, it could even retroactively make the previous one look better (unlikely, given Disney’s reluctance to branch out creatively or explore complex topics like moral ambiguity, but so I make this wish).

If there were ever a sequel to “Wish,” it would be extremely interesting if that story was about the unintended consequences of having a wish granted. For example, what if the choice to grant Sania’s wish to make the most beautiful dresses in Rosas puts another dressmaker out of business or leads to a terrible rivalry between the person who worked hard to learn dress-making and the person who was granted the ability by magic?

In this hypothetical sequel, a few things should happen. It could start by laying the groundwork and showing some roadblocks to creating the paradise that is Rosas. King Magnifico may have started by granting every single wish until one (or multiple) wish granting went badly. 

He and Queen Amaya aren’t depicted as having any children, so the prequel story could be tied into that, just to twist the knife a little. This would add context explaining why he became so controlling and she was so willing to drop him the moment he became possessed. Maybe he refused to grant Queen Amaya’s wish to have a child, fearing unintended consequences, and she has been stewing in resentment for years. Then, in “modern day,” Asha is overwhelmed assuming godmother duties for an entire kingdom, and one day decides to grant everyone’s wishes so that the annoying citizens of Rosas will stop complaining. This mass wish-granting would go badly and lead to Queen Amaya and Asha reaching back out to King Magnifico for help. If I had my way, the story would end with no more wish-granting, as everyone would realize the world is a better place when you work for what you want rather than wait for your wishes to be granted.

The message: it’s more rewarding to work for something rather than have it magically handed to you. If that message sounds like a bummer, then I’m sorry to remind anyone reading this that magic doesn’t actually exist, so if you want something you generally have no choice but to make it happen for yourself. You can also think of “magic” as a metaphor for “money and influence,” and vice versa, if that makes you happy.

Also, Valentino the Goat wouldn’t talk in this one because his voice was the most awful I’ve ever heard.

I don’t think my fictional sequel will ever be made. But if some wandering Disney executive finds my blog and isn’t too offended by my deep disdain for most of their work and business ethics, I hope they consider this idea. The biggest obstacle is that the film may not please every single viewer. This choice would have to be made knowing that some audiences might be confused by the idea that a character can do bad or questionable things, and not be a bad person. 

Some audiences struggled to understand that Paul Atreides wasn’t the good guy in Denis Villeneuve’s “Dune: Part Two.” That doesn’t make “Dune: Part Two” less of a masterpiece. Disney might need to make peace with the fact that those same audiences may struggle to understand that King Magnifico isn’t the bad guy in “Wish 2: The Squeakquel.” It would be a difficult choice, but it would get Disney out of its shadow.