Shark Slander

Sharks are just trying to do their shark thing. It’s not their fault that people are so afraid of them and have made so many excellent movies and shows vilifying them. Would you like it if somebody made a movie about you eating a bunch of beach goers when all you were trying to do is find a nice seal or fish to chomp on?

Sharks have managed to survive for millions of years on this crappy little planet, only to have their survival threatened by a species that just learned how to stand upright. Let’s show them a little more respect.

Flamingos

Why do nature documentaries care so much about flamingos? Everyone knows what a flamingo looks like. They’re at every zoo and almost every lawn. I’m over it. Show a different bird.

(Although population-wise, some species are going through it, so let’s continue to protect them).

Turtles Laying Eggs

I love sea turtles, but every time I see a video of their slimy birth holes laying eggs I feel like I’m trapped in a room with a Xenomorph. Could we just show the eggs plopping in the sand without witnessing the disgusting movement of the egg through the turtle hoo-ha (which I believe is actually referred to as a coelom, and I both hate that I had to look that up but am also curious if that is the correct term).

Baby Sea Turtles Getting Pwned by Nature

I watched a nature documentary where a baby turtle was ripped in half by seagulls. I get that death is a part of nature and life is rough for baby sea turtles, but I feel like I would be a happier person if I didn’t have to witness that. I’m all for showing how human activity hurts the baby sea turtles because I think these documentaries should lay on the guilt like nobody’s business, but maybe we could skip broadcasting the baby sea turtle disembowelings.

Snakes

They scare me and I don’t like them. 😦

Tell me your least favorite thing about nature documentaries and maybe we can make a part two!